Being invited to a wedding is so exciting! It’s a chance to celebrate the happy couple and have a good time with your friends and family. But with that invite comes the tradition of giving a wedding gift . . . and the stress of figuring out the appropriate amount to spend.
So, how much should you spend on a wedding gift? Well, most people spend an average of $100–200 on a wedding gift.1 But how much you give really depends on your relationship to the couple, the type of wedding, who’s attending and—ultimately—your budget.
Let’s talk about each of these so you can check the wedding gift off your to-do list and feel good about the price!
How Much to Spend by Your Relationship to the Couple
- Coworkers or distant relatives: $75–100
- Friends or relatives: $100–150
- Close friends and family members: $150–200+
- If you’re in the wedding party: $150–200
Okay, so these numbers are what people say they spend on average for a wedding gift. But how much you should spend really depends on your budget (more on that later) and your relationship to the couple getting married. After all, you’re probably going to give your sister a more expensive gift than you would a high school classmate or a coworker.
Do I need to buy a gift for every wedding event I’m invited to?
If you’re close enough to the couple that you’re invited to the engagement party, bridal shower and the wedding, it’s totally fine to give just one gift. (I would suggest bringing your gift to the bridal shower since opening presents is usually its own activity.) You could also split up your total gift budget with the 20-20-60 rule: 20% for the engagement party, 20% for the bridal shower, and 60% for the wedding gift.
If I’m in the wedding party, do I still need to give a gift?
Now, bridesmaids and groomsmen usually shell out quite a bit of cash for being in the wedding. Dresses, suits, hair, makeup, shoes—the cost of standing by your friend adds up! Not to mention, some wedding parties double as the setup and teardown crew.
That said, don’t feel like you have to go over the top with a gift if you’re actually in the wedding. You could always give a small, meaningful gift to the bride and groom. But for most couples, your presence on their big day really is the best present. Members of the wedding party can also jump in on a group gift without feeling guilty.
How Much to Spend by the Type of Wedding
If the wedding is an over-the-top, fancy shindig at The Ritz, you might feel pressured to provide a luxurious gift to match. I get it. But just because the couple decided to drop a huge chunk of change on their wedding, it doesn’t mean you need to do the same to attend.
Whether the couple ties the knot at a park, Cinderella’s Castle or in the Italian countryside, how much you spend is more about your relationship with the couple and your budget, not the venue.
Should I buy a gift for a destination wedding?
Technically, you should give a gift for any wedding you’re attending. But with destination weddings, you’re already spending a ton of money on the front end with travel, accommodations and food. Some couples will specify that gifts aren’t necessary on their invite or wedding website. Otherwise, they’ll probably understand if you spend less on a physical gift since you traveled on your own dime to celebrate with them.
Should the amount I spend on a wedding gift match the price per head?
Some people say the amount you spend on a wedding gift should equal what the bride and groom spent on you. This is known as “covering your plate” or “matching the price per head.”
But the problem with this rule is that you don’t know exactly how much a couple is spending on their wedding (unless you ask them, which I don’t recommend). Plus, the bride and groom shouldn’t count on their guests to pay them back for their wedding budget. The Emily Post Institute even said this etiquette myth is simply untrue. (Whew!)
How Much to Spend by Who’s Coming
- If you’re bringing a plus-one: Spend 1.5 to 2 times more on a gift.
- If you can’t attend the wedding: It depends on your relationship to the couple, but a gift is not expected.
Should I spend more on a wedding gift if I’m bringing a plus-one?
It’s totally fine to bring a plus-one (as long as the invite says you can). But since extra guests mean extra cost for the couple, it’s not a bad idea to spend a little more on a wedding gift if you’re bringing someone else (usually 1.5 to 2 times more).
Do I need to buy a wedding gift if I can’t attend the wedding?
Missing out on your friend’s big day is the worst. But you can still show your support for the couple with a thoughtful gift. If you want to send something in your absence, the amount you spend comes down to how well you know the bride and groom. However, most couples don’t expect to receive anything from guests who can’t attend the wedding—so don’t stress over it.
How to Give a Wedding Gift You Can Afford
So, now you have an idea of what to spend on a wedding gift for each situation. But don’t let expensive traditions or etiquette rules be a reason to overspend! Let’s talk about how to get a wedding gift both the happy couple and your wallet will love.
Know your budget.
The best place to start when figuring out how much to spend on a wedding gift? Your budget. A budget helps you know exactly how much you can spend on the next wedding you’re attending—including the gift, outfit, transportation and anything else. And when you don’t have to stress about your money, you’ll be able to enjoy the party a whole lot more.
Save more. Spend better. Budget confidently.
Get EveryDollar: the free app that makes creating—and keeping—a budget simple. (Yes, please.)
Give a gift card.
If you’re scanning the bride and groom’s wedding registry and realize everything is way out of your budget, don’t panic! You can always give a gift card to one of the stores they’ve listed. That way, they can put it toward anything they didn’t get. And it’s usually more appreciated than trying to find something else you think they might like.
Contribute to the honeymoon fund.
Lots of couples will actually list their Venmo or a way to contribute cash to their honeymoon fund, either on the invite or on the gift table at the wedding. You may not think this feels as meaningful as a physical gift. But trust me, the bride and groom appreciate the cash just as much as that blender or toaster oven. And no gift bag or fancy wrapping paper needed!
Go in on a group gift.
Joining forces with friends or coworkers is a great way to get the bride and groom a bigger gift without it having a big impact on your budget. You can go in on that amazing vacuum or honeymoon excursion they registered for and spend less than you would on an individual gift. Just ask your fellow gift givers to go in with you early—otherwise, they may have already committed to something on the registry, and you’re on your own.
Give of your time.
If you don’t have a lot of money to spend, you could always offer to help the couple with any wedding prep, like writing place-setting cards or assembling décor. There are also plenty of ways you could help with the wedding itself—setting up or tearing down, cutting the cake, transporting family to the venue, or making sure the guest book gets signed. Any stress you can take off the bride and groom’s plate is a huge gift to them!
Give Yourself the Gift of Budgeting
Listen, I get that you might want to go big on the wedding gift. Especially if gift-giving is your love language. But you don’t need to overspend or go into debt to attend a wedding. Ultimately, it comes down to what makes sense for your budget, not the couple’s budget or the bridesmaids’ budgets.
So, if you’re not already budgeting, now’s the time to start! The EveryDollar budgeting app makes it easy to create a plan for your money every month—so you can cover your bills, build your savings, and celebrate your friends and family as they say “I do.”
Do yourself a favor and download EveryDollar for free today! (P.S. The premium version also makes a great wedding gift.)
